By Eric Faria
Each human being is inherently worthy.
Take this in: you are inherently worthy. Before you ever do, achieve or acquire, you are worthy. In other words, you are born worthy. This is a profound and powerful place from which to live. How many of us really believe we are worthy?
In our culture, sadly, I think most of us believe we are not enough because our worth needs to be constantly earned. There is a continual striving to do more, to achieve more and to acquire more. If we do this, it will somehow make us worthy. In this paradigm, life is very conditional. There is always more to do, achieve and acquire. Living this way can be exhausting. Most of us live with some level of shame because we will never measure up.
We pursue external identity markers that we think are important in order for us to be worthy. The markers can be “I have not achieved X” or “I do not own Y.” These markers are all arbitrary and subjective. Sometimes, the markers are met and then there is a sense of well-being. It doesn’t last, though. If you are only as good as your last task, achievement or acquisition, this same process must be followed repeatedly. There is no end in sight. It makes it impossible to feel good about yourself in an ongoing way. This can lead to a life of anxiety and depression because internally you never feel you are enough.
Coaching has been fundamental for me in acceptance of myself. In my personal practice, I emphasize positive self-esteem as one of the tools that enables my clients to experience their own essence. This allows them to move into a more self-accepting stance.
By doing the work, my clients accept themselves as they are now, which allows them to become the person they want to be. This happens because we are human beings. Movement and change are part of who we are. The humanistic belief is that if we accept ourselves as we are now, we naturally move towards health and wholeness. Thus, paradoxically, by not fighting against ourselves and accepting who we are in the moment, we can compassionately let go or modify undesired aspects of ourselves and become more authentic.
Knowing we are worthy, we can authentically engage with our life, through all its joys and challenges. We learn to take action from our core, not from a sense of lack.
I would like to suggest an experiment: for 24 hours, go through the day believing that you are enough and worthy just as you are. Be aware of how this action may move you into a sense of well-being, a sense of rebellion or anything in between. And no matter what comes up for you, treat yourself with kindness.
Eric Faria is an emotional intelligence coach. He has participated in self-development trainings since 2005, using these tools in his professional coaching. He graduated from an International Coach Federation program in January 2014. Eric lives in Connecticut and in addition to working with private clients, he gives motivational talks. For more information, or to contact him, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.