Together parents and schools can stop bullying
Bullying has been identified as a major concern in schools across the United States. At
the local level, there have been cases reported as well—in the Danbury school system, in fact.
According to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center, almost 30% of youth in the United States (or over 5.7 million) are estimated to have been involved in bullying, as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both.
A bully, in archaic terms, was “a man hired to do violence.” Today, bullying most commonly describes acts of physical and psychological violence, intentional and repetitive, by an individual a bully, or a group, with the express purpose of intimidating or harming another individual, usually one smaller and less capable of defending him or herself.
A 2005 survey on the health of the state’s schools revealed that one-third of Connecticut high school students – and more than 40 percent of 9th graders – reported having been bullied on school property.
Many parents are unaware of their children’s daily routine in school. I believe that a great majority thinks that the school environment is essentially safe and secure, unaware or unwilling to admit that their children could be facing serious challenges, such as the humiliation and embarrassment of bullying, which not only brings about emotional turmoil, but can also result in personality changes.
Parents—it is crucial to be alert to the most obvious signs of bullying, especially those that are not so evident, and to face, if necessary, the fact that something very inappropriate is happening during the time your child is in school.
For example, if you notice that academic development has declined, or that your child resists or even refuses to go to school, don’t assume that these are “common” reactions or personality traces of children “that age.” Approach your son or daughter with caution, compassion and patience and try to probe the reason behind the changes in behavior and/or schoolwork. It is quite possible that your child is the victim of bullying at school or in the neighborhood.
Teachers and administrators work to do their best to help parents engage in dialogue with their children, not least because many school staff members are parents just like us. But even when they do their best to guarantee the safety and well-being of students, they still face the challenge of dealing with the behavior of youths that refuse to follow school rules or to respect their teachers as well as their peers.
Children who are bullies have an authoritarian personality combined with a strong need to control and dominate others. In order to do that, they exhibit hostile behavior by abusing other students, psychologically, verbally and even physically sometimes.
In contrast, the victims of bullying feel the need to socially isolate themselves, presenting with problems of self-esteem that result in changing schools frequently or even giving up on their education altogether. Sadly, some youth simply cannot cope with the sadness and depression of being victimized repeatedly and end up trying to or succeeding in committing suicide.
Home is where the hearts of bullying victims find peace. Make sure you always maintain open lines of communication with your child so he or she feels safe, trusting and loved. These feelings are essential to boost their selfesteem, self-confidence and emotional balance.
Connecticut has its own bullying legislation in place. The definition of the term, the standard of behavior, or how the victim should file a complaint, is information provided in the student handbooks provided by the schools. Details about the July 2006 act concerning bullying policies in schools and the notices sent to parents or legal guardians can be found on the Connecticut General Assembly’s website at http://www.cga.ct.gov.
We can all fight together to end bullying and save our children from its consequences. It’s up to us!
