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Remembering Sandy Hook: A mother

In honor of the lost and saved in the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting we share with our readers the words of Nelba Marquez-Greene, mother of 6 year-old Ana, lost on that tragic morning 30 days ago.

December 30,2012

Dear Ana,
It’s been two weeks and two days since you’ve left us and I’m hanging on for dear life. Special blanket has lost your smell… and the sky looks a lot grayer. I hear you in every note of music. I see you in every falling snowflake. I miss combing your hair and painting your nails. I miss my tag sale buddy. Remember when we bought that kite at the neighborhood tag sale? You were determined to fly it even though it wasn’t windy enough. I must have told you 100 times it wasn’t windy enough. Somehow you talked your brother into tying the kite to your bicycle and the next thing I knew, that kite was up in the air. You were so determined! I was so proud of both of you. We ended every night and started every day with an “I love you”. I’m thankful we took the time for the little things that don’t seem so little now that you’re in heaven. Thank you to all who have contributed through prayer, supportive words or donations and to those who have committed to making peace and love win over fear, hatred or anger. Thank you for thinking of all of the families that were victims, our first responders and our entire community. Thank you to all who have committed to making a call to action.

The layers of this are complex and while we may not agree on all pieces- perhaps we can agree that no parent, grandparent or caregiver should ever again put their child on a school bus only to have their backpack and uneaten lunch returned to them by an FBI agent and police officer- because their child was executed at school.

When you experience grief/loss in this way, it takes up every little corner of the heart. Walking through grief is a long journey. Essential to recovery is the heart’s ability to grow around and through the grief- so that the grief is still there but your heart just gets bigger. This is what the therapist told us. It makes a lot of sense to me. . . .

Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love. I Cor 13:13

Love wins,
Nelba Marquez – Greene

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