How do you define love? Where does your understanding of love come from?

The way we understand love is not the same for everyone. Our definition of love is influenced by what we see modeled around us, both in real life and online. Because of this, people can perceive and define love very differently, and sometimes unhealthy behaviors are mistaken for normal ones. Recognizing self-worth and practicing self-love sets the tone for how others will treat you. Knowing your worth and loving yourself reduces the need for external validation.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Teenagers experience violence at alarming rates. According to dating abuse statistics from LoveIsRespect.org, 1 in 3 teens experience some type of abuse. Research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that 1 in 12 high school–aged teens experience physical dating violence, and 1 in 10 experience sexual dating violence.

Today’s dating culture, often influenced by social media, can blur boundaries and normalize violence as “just part of relationships,” even when behaviors cross the line into harm. As a result, certain controlling and dangerous behaviors are becoming more common and often overlooked. Violence should never be normalized.

One concerning trend involves dangerous behaviors during intimacy, such as strangulation. This behavior is sometimes viewed as exciting, despite posing serious and potentially life-threatening risks. Even when consensual and without visible signs of harm, the physical and neurological consequences can be severe and, in some cases, fatal.

Another growing trend involves the sharing of intimate images. What may be seen as a sign of trust or closeness can quickly turn into vulnerability. Once an image is shared, control is lost, and it can later be used for manipulation or sexual exploitation.

Jealousy and monitoring are also frequently mistaken for love. Pressuring a partner to share passwords, track their location, or send constant check-in messages may appear caring, but these behaviors are signs of control rather than affection.

It may feel uncomfortable to open discussions with teens about these trends, which may seem like “adult problems,” but they do exist within teen relationships. Teens are often exposed to content that normalizes these behaviors through social media, music, and entertainment. Opening dialogue can challenge stigma, show support, and model healthy communication.

Research shows that dating violence is common among teens, yet many do not tell anyone. Fear, shame, cultural expectations, and not recognizing abuse contribute to silence. Those who experience dating violence are also more likely to face long-term impacts, including anxiety, depression, substance use, suicidal thoughts, and a higher risk of future violence.

Prevention starts before harm occurs. When adults model healthy boundaries and allow children to set their own boundaries, they help build confidence, self-respect, and safety. Creating trusting relationships with children and teens, without judgment or shame, makes it more likely they will seek support when something does not feel right.

Whether you are concerned about your own relationship, or someone you know needs help, the Center for Empowerment and Education (CEE) offers confidential 24/7 hotlines and support for individuals and families at no cost.